Parasite.

Sometimes I feel like a parasite when it comes to relationships.
We'll be together and at first everything is great but then after I while I unravel and things just get terrible.
I seem to destroy every relationship which after a while gets so frustrating it gets to the point where I'm at now which is not even wanting to try and to be mad at others even though it's my fault.
I'm just really bitter I guess.
Like unsweetened chocolate, except I'd rather you not attempt to eat me because I'm not into cannibalism.

Friends.

Sometimes I feel like I become friends with people I was never supposed to become friends with.
Not like, oh he does drugs I'm not supposed to be friends with him, it's more like, I try my best to be your friend and you don't give a fuck when I try to talk to you.
Those people are the ones that I feel like I was supposed to never to be friends with.
Also another way to describe them would be the ones who say they'll be your best friend and then they never talk to you.
Then when you attempt to talk to them they'll talk for a little bit but then stop.
I have too many friends like that.

Shadow.

My shadowing/interview went pretty well and everybody there seemed cool so I really hope I got in.
I really don't want to go to school tomorrow though.
Fuck Dover high :/

You Stay Classy San Diego.

I have an shadow/Interview day at CATA tomorrow and yeah I'm nervous.
At least I'll be with Jake all day.
And I also am happy because I actually have a band now.
I'm drumming for "You Stay Classy San Diego" now which'll be fun and I hope we can actually play gigs so I'll be able to play my first gig ever.

Sometimes I Wonder Who Reads This.

I get a bunch of views a week but who the fuck really reads this?
I know 5 people who do but besides that, I'm lost.
...why do people read this? 90% of this blog is just hateful post and depressing things.
The other 10% is just random.
I think I'm gonna try writing in this more often.

Deleting A Bunch Of Post,

Like a boss.

Now I Sit Here,

With my brain eating away at me telling me I'm a terrible person and that I should have just told you I understood right away.
I hate when I do this. When I screw up telling someone I understand.
Thinking now I hate whenever I screw up.
I'm a people pleaser. I always try to put others before me, and I hate when I fail to make someone happy and I end up making them mad.
It just eats at me until I either freak out or I just sit there and wait it out.
I wish I could be perfect so no one would get mad at me when I fail to make them happy.

For Some Reason,

I hate myself right now. I don't know why, I just do.
I hate how I can't be happy right now. Fuck I hate this and myself.
Le Fu-

Today,

Was fucking amazing.
Made it to school on time and then sat with a cute and wonderful girl and asked her out. And she said yes. :3
Then I saw her throughout the day till I went home. And then talking to her when I got home was pretty great too :3
My bro finally made a film for the film fest and submitted it today along with another thing he made.
He also might be adding the second part to the other thing he made and might be adding another thing.
I also might actually get into cata which would be interesting.
Everything is nice and I really hope I can at least stay happy for sometime longer. I don't get to be happy very often so this is great :3

Band.

The other day while hanging out at my buddies band practice for the second time I asked one of my friends if I could sing for them and he said he'd think about it.
When I went home and thought about it I figured he'd just shrug It off and find somebody else which was okay with me because its happened many times befit but the strange thing was that he walked up to me this morning and told me if I wanted to sing for them I could audition on Wednesday.
I was really caught off guard that he actually really thought about it, and it made me happy.
I told him I would think about it. Which I did.
I spent the entire day asking a few of my closest friends if I should and they all said yeah but I was still scared to say I'll go for it because I'm afraid I won't be good enough for it.
I ended up saying yes after school today despite not being a hounded percent sure because I mean, what's the worse that could happen?
I would just get rejected for the billionth time which is okay.
And the best thing that could happen would be j actually got in which would be amazing because I'm friends with everyone in it and plus I know I'm a good fit because we spent the entire day together and I clashed with everyone well.
This post has made me feel better about this.
I'm sorta more confident.
If only it'd help my stomach calm down xD Dx

I decided.

To be a little more like I usually am to everyone else on here as well. Where normally on here I'm super serious.

Actual New Years Resolutions.

•Be a stronger kid.
•Be less of a bitch.
•Get in/make a serious band.
•Be different then the way I was last year with girls.
•Become less attached to girls.
•Get out of the house more often.
•GET A FUCKING PHONE.
I would say swear less but that's impossible and plus I don't want to be less vulgar.
•Find out what I want to do in life

•Find out who I am.
As I said to my English teacher Ms. Parsont;
This year will be about finding myself.

OHHH SHIT. A post about girls I like.

I like a few at the moment. (this post seems really silly to write.)
Although it's kinda pointless to like a few of them, I still do.
For one of them its sorta strange. I like them, even though it's quite obvious Nothings going to happen and it's proven time and time again but I still like them. Sorta silly, but what you gonna do?
I like another, but its also sorta really pointless to like her too. It's also again proven many times that nothing will happen, but still, I like her.


Seriously, this post seems really silly and pointless but I guess I'll post it anyways.
I sorta like this post, it makes me feel immature and it reminds me of a better time in my past which makes me happy.
I like this post.

Happiness Comes At a Price.

It always does.