Enough space.

Every time I hang out with Marc and Jake, I get to do a lot of laughing. Hanging out with those two is just one hell of a time, and I cherish it since it almost never happens anymore. The last two days i've been with them, staying at his house helping them record their album they decided to write and record this week. And again, i'm just having an amazing time. It also gives me an excuse to not talk to anyone but them. Which is bad because lately in the last few months i've already begun talking to people less and less. I also noticed whenever i'm near Marc and Jake their odd problems always get me thinking about my own problems and usually always right after i'm done hanging with them I do something about my problems. I just... I just want nothing to do with anyone but myself anymore. I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I'm trying SO hard with all of this, i'm trying to force myself through the motions of it all but it's just not working. It's probably myself this time around, i'm trying to find the problem within myself but I can't. She's so fucking amazing and lovely but there's just something in me that's wrong. I wish to me it was so painfully obvious to see. I wish I cared about anything enough to figure it out. I'm so fucking closed off from EVERYONE. I'm so full of myself, I KNEW this would happen. I never let myself have any self confidence because I was afraid i'd become full of myself and I said I never would, but I am. I fucking hate it. But I can't go back to self pity. There's just no way to balance this crap. The only thing I need, is to figure out how to transfer all this into music. That's all I care about anymore. Just fucking writing and music.