Off the spoiled seed till it's pure.

Suddenly really upset.
That guy really needs to come back, now. I can't live like this any longer. All I want to do is see you and hug you and kiss you but I can't even do that.
I really wish I could have noticed I need professional help a while ago. I told my mom a year and a half ago I needed help but she never did anything and i'm not sure I would have went with it if she actually did.
I really need this to pass, I hate this. This is not me. The only time i've been able to be myself for the last two weeks is when i'm with you.
He's back in four days. And I might see you in five. I have to see you on the 4th. I'm so scared of so many things, I hate this right now.
I should go.

Take me away.

I have to stay positive.
When I stay positive, the bad feelings go away. But it's so hard, and I don't have any other ways to cope with the anxiety feeling. Thankfully, in less than a week and a half i'll be going to someone to work on this problem. Hopefully i'll learn to deal with it and I can go back to actually living my life the way I want to, not the way the beast on my back wants to.

Ashes of the wake.

It's amazing how bad the anxiety has gotten in the last day alone, WOW.
I had so much fun today, but at times it got so bad...