Who I Am.

I thought I had this depression thing won, but I guess not.
Here I am in the dark, by the computer, another restless night.
Well, at least I haven't totally lost. I just deal with depression in a different way so it doesn't consume and affect everything I do.
I just hate the anxiety, it's ridiculous. If I could figure out a way to deal with it by myself that'd be amazing.
Too bad every-time I "fix" it, it comes right back.
Will I ever be right again?
I hate not having a best friend, i'm also incapable lately of trying to make someone my best friend.
Or, hell, even keeping friends.
It's just so damn hard. I can't handle having to talk to someone everyday to keep them as a friend when some days I just don't want to talk to anyone.
I feel so stupid. I can't talk to anyone everyday, yet I desire to have someone to talk to everyday.