My Hopelessness.

I was kinda sorta happy a minute ago, then I..
I'll just say I think everything is hopeless now. Nothing is seeming to get any better, I can't stop blaming myself for everything, I can't stop realizing that everything I once thought was someone Else's fault was actually mine.
I have a few people tell me "Oh things will get better."
... When is it going to get better?
Has it gotten better in the past month? No.
Has it gotten even the SLIGHTEST bit better in the past month? No.
Do I think it'll get better? The way things are going, No.
I wish I never promised anybody i'd never cut again, because that sounds good about now.
I wish that if I did it again I wouldn't be breaking any promises and I wouldn't be hurting someone else.







I kinda get mad when people say "I wish the old me would comeback."
There is no such thing as the 'old you.' There was just the memory's and happiness that happened during that time, and that you are the same person still, except everything around you is completely different.
That's why I say, I wish I could go back in time and re-live the defining moments of my life.
8th Grade. Fuck you. Fuck you, and everyone who caused it to be terrible. Fuck you to everyone who hurt me that year that still continues to hurt me, with no rhyme or reason to it.
Fuck you all.