My UFO Sighting.

I fucking quit.
I'm done with this fucking separation shit.
Don't ask why I suddenly am changing my mind but fuck it.
I'm done separating myself from everybody.
Actually, I don't know why I'm quitting it.
Maybe it's because I'm afraid I'm going to kill myself if I'm alone any longer.
Maybe it's... I don't know.
Maybe that's the reason.
I keep trying to think why I don't get help for this, and I'm not really sure why.
I think I don't want to tell my mom what's going on because we really don't have the money to help me.
And if we did, she'd probably make me go see somebody, and I really don't want to.
Plus, the biggest reason;
It'll hurt her.
I don't want to see my mom cry because of me.
The last time she did that was when I stupidly told her about my sudden 20 pound weight drop a few months ago.
She went from smiling to crying in like.. 2 seconds.
It was scary and I do NOT want to do that to her again.




Fuck I really gotta go to sleep, but I can't.
this X-files episode is messing with my mind.
Even though it's a work of fiction, it's really making me think.
What if the UFO I saw just a work of government?
What if it was all.. just fake.
God, I sound like a fucking psycho... please tell me no one's gonna read this.
why can't any of my friends have seen a UFO too? No one can really help me, or fully and truly understand me unless they've seen one.
They can lie and say then understand, but they fucking don't.
No one will understand what it does to your fucking mind.
Holy shit i'm scared right now. I can't stop looking up all these things about UFO's and aliens.
I've been thinking,
in the episode this man tells the main male character that all of the thousands of UFO sightings throughout the world were just staged, and fake (I assume he meant from the 20's up.)
So I thought, what about the sightings before America was established? before they possibly could be needed for the use of their technology.
I found some really interesting stuff. But then again, you aren't really sure what you can trust, because what if all that's fake?
It may sounds crazy, but you gotta suspect everything.
Everything.
In a way it kinda makes sense that the UFO sightings from the 20's up would be fake because how in the world could everything be open? Don't you think if they had all this technology, they'd be able to operate without fault?
Now i'm kinda thinking this,
What if aliens had all the info they need back then? And the government was just keeping the phenomenon going just for scare tactics? To keep the men and women and children of this country from doing anything crazy without the fear of being caught and prosecuted.
Holy fuck, this is complicated. And this is just only running off one theory. What if all those UFO sightings, and mine as well, were real?
Fuck.
The Truth Is Out There everyone.