I feel so alone. I haven't talked to anyone at all really in a few days and it's kinda getting to me. I also have had trouble writing since I don't feel like I have an audience to write to anymore.
At first I hated the feeling that I was writing this not for myself and now I'm having a hard time just writing for myself.
Sometimes I wonder why we can't be friends but then I remember it's because of me.
No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Damnit. No.
No.
If I wasn't the way I was then we would be friends. But, I guess if you can't understand that then I guess this is for the better. No matter how much it bothers me. If only it didn't matter. This would all be so much easier. Everything would great. I have to let that go. If not for myself, at least you. God, I'm writing this like you'll actually ever fucking read this. Ha. Imagine me sending this to you? I don't know how many times I've hinted to you about this place, I had always wanted you to find it. Now I see that would have been a bad idea. Then why do I still write about you? Do I force myself to? Do I really still have some feelings for you?
I have written page after page about you, it has gotten me nowhere. If only talking to yourself solved anything, I'd be the fucking perfect human being.
This entire blog just makes me seem crazy. How many more times am I going to write about you?
Guess it's impossible to resolve anything when I happen to see you every single day.
Damnit this isn't getting me anywhere. I'm just going to go to bed and try to fix whatever shit grades I can at school.
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